Trying to Find Your Soulmate? When Fantasy Meets Reality

Walk up to nearly any single adult and ask, "Would you like to find your Soulmate?" and more times than not the answer, without hesitation, will be "Yes!"

The dream that there is someone out there who is perfectly connected with and completes each one of us is certainly a romantic concept. Unfortunately, in the quest for "The One" who completes who we are, we seem to overlook some fundamental realities: The "other half" who fits perfectly with you will often share your background, your values, your beliefs - or some combination of these and more. Most importantly, your perfect match should - and will - enjoy many of the things in life that you enjoy too. Otherwise, the two of you will never be happy as a couple!

Let's start with an example...

There are those who offer advice to singles who will advise you to go to the gym after work to meet professionals who go there too. Or they may recommend volunteer work - or flirting in public with absolute strangers. What's striking about this type of advice is suggesting things that are not in your nature!

There's little point in joining a gym, if in fact you do not want to be there. Chances are that if you meet someone there at all, it will be someone who enjoys working out. But if you yourself do not, then this "common interest" may lead you nowhere.

If volunteering is just not your thing, why would you want to surround yourself with people who enjoy volunteer work? Wouldn't it be better to meet someone who shares an interest you sincerely have in common? Without passing judgment or attempting to fit a square peg into a round hole, why not start with some honest self-examination, so your social life as a single adult is in harmony with your true nature as a person?

The point is that if you're wanting to find your Soulmate, it would be best not to fake your way into someone else's life by pretending to have interests that are not really yours.

The truth is that none of us are really that "attractive" when we're doing something that's completely unnatural. So get involved with something you enjoy! It's far easier to make connections with others, and attract new friends and companions, when we are clearly enjoying what we're doing. The Internet is a wonderful resource for finding group organizations that cover every interest under the sun. See if there's an organization for your particular hobby where you will automatically meet others who share what you genuinely love!

Also keep in mind that just because the people around you may not be single, doesn't mean they don't have friends who are. Blind dates are, of course, an entirely different subject, but if you can meet a friend of a friend at a group event or a lunch, how can you go wrong with that?

As we all hope to find the perfect partner to accompany us through the rest of our lives, your first logical step should be doing something you love. The goal here is to meet people with whom you're genuinely compatible - and not necessarily singles - because people in relationships often know others who are looking and can make those introductions for you.

The key is to stop concentrating on trying to meet someone who's single, but instead concentrate on the things that make you happy. Do what you love - and new relationships will surely follow!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jay Reiss is an Online Dating Coach who has worked with more than two thousand clients worldwide! He'll help you design your Online Dating Profile and show you how to succeed with Online Dating! He offers a free telephone coaching session (a $100.00 value - free!) and has Free Online Dating Advice on his website

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